ME LIKE EAT Contributor: Minetta Tavern Proves Adam Smith Was Wrong
Once again, ME LIKE EAT is proud to offer you the thoughts of contributor Hugh, this time taking on one of the most popular and storied restaurants in town, Minetta Tavern. Editor’s note: this is the first and only post on this blog to use some Photoshop-enhanced images in an effort to make the barely visible scene within moreso.
Windows are always shuttered. What lurks within?
Minetta Tavern is proof beyond any doubt that Adam Smith was wrong. How about that for a truly original thought?
Now where is my Nobel Prize?
My memories of college economics classes are vague and hazy. But through the mist and cobwebs, I recall being taught that Adam Smith theorized that in the market economy there is this invisible hand out there that guides the basic forces of human interaction on this planet. According to Smith’s theory, if people demand something, its value increases.
Applying Smith’s theory, a good restaurant is in greater demand, and therefore is more expensive. That is why many of us will pay more to dine at a good restaurant, like a Jean-Georges, Keens, or Quatorze Bis., than we might to eat at, say, a McDonalds.
If you believe in Adam Smith’s theorem, the invisible hand should not allow a Manhattan restaurant to charge Peter Luger prices for lousy food to remain extant on the planet for long. Indeed, if Smith’s theory is correct, Minetta Tavern is due the back of that invisible hand.
So what makes Minetta Tavern the popular destination restaurant it seems to be? Why did The New York Times’ former food critic Frank Bruni suggest that it might be the best steak house in New York?
How did that happen?
Especially in one of the most competitive cities on the planet when it comes to food. A place where great and talented chefs, each apply so much of their talent, wit and skill, to get a good review in The Times, a 27 in Zagats, or a Michelin Star.
A City where countless restaurateurs fail, and good restaurants are shuttered. I’m sure most of you have seen this happen. And the stories of these failures are routinely awful. Some courageous individual sinks it all into an enterprise, and then gets to watch as his or her dreams get dashed against the rocks. This happens frequently and pitilessly, notwithstanding talent, drive, and even the quality of food.
Yet in this unforgiving maelstrom of supply, demand and Adam Smith’s invisible hand, Minetta Tavern stubbornly persists and appears to thrive.
It makes my head hurt to think about it. So, how does Minetta Tavern work?
The permanently crowded bar area of Minetta Tavern.
On my recent visit, Minetta Tavern was crowded. It had a cheery buzz of a crowd eating and drinking to the subdued sounds of Frank Sinatra.
The sardine appetizer was dry, salty, lemony, and very tart – all at once. It left me confused. The shrimp salad was handful of rock hard shrimps served over “wild arugala.” Wild arugala is a variety of lettuce, except each leaf is ringed by prickly, throat-scratching thorns.
Minetta Tavern’s signature steak is a Cote de Bouef for two. That is a big Ribeye to those of you who do not parlez Francais. Ribeyes are a very fat filled cut of meat, and if properly served, the fat liquefies as you bite into it, and it enriches and sweetens the flavor of the meat.
A portion of the dry-aged, signature Cote de Bouef for two. $118.
Minetta Tavern’s Ribeye is ridden with the chewy, hard to swallow kind of fat – the kind that’s expertly designed to make you choke. I am confident I have eaten better steaks at my local Greek diner.
The steak was served with hollowed out bones, within which was this goopy, luke warm, gelatinous textured marrow. In a word: nauseating.
Although saturated with oil, the Pommes Anna was the best thing I ate on my most recent visit. It is a pie of sliced fried potatoes, with slices ranging from sopping-wet soggy to stiff and brittle. In this mix, however, there were a few which worked.
The wine list is a doozy. It is one of those wine lists with one or two inexpensive options per column. You know, the kind of wine list where if you order a less expensive bottle of wine, you ordered the cheap wine.
A steakhouse is theoretically, a straightforward thing. Steak is a simple comfort food.
But do you go to a steakhouse for a cut of beef of a kind and quality which most of us non-executive chef types cannot procure or make at home even if we had the desire to do so? Or do you go for the atmosphere? That “harrumph harrumphing” that occurs when you are surrounded by people who are taking a mini-vacation from the travails of the big city, to enjoy one of its more reliable benefits.
I think most of us go for both reasons.
Minetta Tavern has plenty of atmosphere.
But the atmosphere at Minetta Tavern is different than that of a steakhouse. Or even a restaurant.
Minetta Tavern is a scene.
Nightclub-like.
Minetta Tavern is the one steakhouse in New York where you will definitely find gorgeous women.
Amazingly beautiful women throng to the place. The first time I ate there, a really beautiful woman whom I never met before – sitting at the bar perhaps ten feet away from my table – while the poor guy who she was dining with was not looking, flashed a naked breast at me a few times. I had a fun experience there that night. Except for the food.
But what do these gorgeous women know about Minetta Tavern? Why do they go?
Could it just be the location? Greenwich Village? Downtownland? Coolville? The place where restaurants seem to automatically get better reviews than all other parts of town?
So there is something in the local waters of Coolville which renders Minetta Tavern a great steakhouse. If you drink those local waters enough, you would know.
It could be just that simple. Because that area is so cool, and Minetta Tavern is one of the limited options in that area, Minetta Tavern becomes a great steakhouse. Even though the steaks they serve may try to choke you to death.
That theory doesn’t scan. Adam Smith’s invisible hand smote many other Village standards.
Another theory must apply. So I have developed one.
More of the bar scene at Minetta Tavern.
Through the miracle of public relations, the owners of Minetta Tavern have created an uber-expensive, uber-chi-chi, uber-hard-to-get-into restaurant which cannot fry a potato.
They picked a great location in a hip and happening part of town. That helps. It attracts celebrities maybe.
And maybe they hired some highly talented PR genius to publicize the place. Imagine a marketing Obi-Wan Kenobi who has convinced the denizens of Greenwich Village, and maybe the whole City, that “These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.” Or, “The steak is really good.”
If my theory is right, and Adam Smith’s theory is wrong, does this mean that we are all just saps?
I think that might be it.
Adam Smith’s invisible hand controls the happenings in the market, but every so often, due to my “Big Sap” theory, the invisible hand gets a place like Minetta Tavern totally wrong. Instead of swatting Minetta Tavern down, the invisible hand puffs it up.
I think I am performing a public service by notifying the world that places like Minetta Tavern exist. They are out there. You run into them from time to time. A place where you are the big sap for going.
Welcome to Coolsville, Big Sappy - I mean, Daddy.
Restaurants like Minetta Tavern simultaneously give a black eye to every great restaurateur out there, who built a worthy establishment, and to all of the restaurateurs who took that shot and failed because of the inherent brutality of the restaurant business in New York City.
So, will the Invisible Hand figure it out? I hope, at some point, it will.
The problem with the Big Sap theory is that a special kind of disappointment sweeps across my soul, and it feels like it takes years off the back end of my life, when I pay through the nose for lousy food.
Nobody likes to admit they got took. It’s embarrassing.
But, after I went to Minetta Tavern I felt like I got took. I felt like a big sap.
And to me that’s the ultimate problem with Minetta Tavern.
Figure it is a $200 per head night out. You do not get a good steak at Minetta Tavern, but you pay for it, and you expect it. For that quantum of money, you are entitled to a level of food quality somewhere between good and excellent. And the product delivered at Minetta Tavern is between fair and awful. In the end, you leave really disappointed by the food.
By comparison, I do not recall ever having been really disappointed by the food at any McDonalds because since I first started eating at McDonalds, I have known precisely what to expect. And having eaten in McDonald’s on three continents, I can say that a Big Mac always tastes exactly like a Big Mac. And who doesn’t like a Big Mac?
So, even if we are all big saps, is the Big Sap model sustainable? In the end, the invisible hand will work. Won’t it?
I will say, that the preponderance of pretty women who pack the place are an enjoyable distraction. If you are a man, as you choke your way through the steak, you will enjoy the view.
Is that why Frank Bruni liked the place so much?
Minetta Tavern – the best steak house in New York if you like looking at pretty women.
If you do not like steak.
Or steak houses.
Or food.
Ok, members of the Nobel Committee, go ahead and announce my award whenever you are ready.
Hugh occasionally favors ME LIKE EAT with his insights and analysis of some of the finest food in New York City. If you enjoyed this column, you may also want to take in his thoughts on Nougatine and the State of Nature, what lies at the Heart of Babbo, what it’s like Dining With Mark at Yankee Stadium, or his thoughts on Hot Dogs, Pizza and New York.
Seems pictureseque... .
As you doubtless know by now I love good lobster rolls very much – indeed I even launched the blog by singing the praises of Abbott’s Lobster In The Rough from the highest hill. As time has gone by I’ve had the opportunity to try some other lobster rolls, including the varieties sold by the Red Hook Lobster Pound (both the Connecticut and Maine variations) and of course, the sublime offering from Luke’s Lobster. I am not such a fool as to think that there is just one tremendous place to get a lobster roll, especially in Connecticut, so it was essential that we make an effort to stop in at that hardcore contender, the Lobster Landing.
As you can see, it is scarcely more than a shack that sits right on the water. It is located just a few minutes away from an exit along I-95, which makes it very convenient (comparatively) to get to if you’re in that part of the world. Essentially you get on one road and follow it until it hits the water.
Are they having an identity crisis?
The menu itself seems to have a near identity crisis. On the one hand, Lobster rolls. That makes sense. On the other, sausage, peppers & onions or a hot dog? I didn’t know what to make of it (although part of me wants to go back and try the sausage & peppers, I’ll bet it’s good).
Not much by decor... .
Next to the shack is a tented area, where we were greeted by two giggling teens who took our order. Behind them are plastic seats and tables, and there are coolers from which you can pluck out a soda or lemonade or some such. The tables can’t be much more than three feet from the water.
Waterfront, but it's no Abbott's.
You really are right on top of the water, and it is very very charming. But, when it comes to decor, it is no Abbott’s. Abbott’s offers a spacious green yard with a beautiful view of yachts and boats cruising past. This was a more workmanlike dock.
Beneath the tinfoil, what awaits?
The waitresses dutifully delivered (after a time) two tinfoil packets. They were quite hot. They were also quite a bit longer than I had expected. While you can’t tell from that photo, I’d say each was about a foot long.
But what was within?
OMFG.
What was within was a huge roll, a gash sliced lengthwise, cut in half. And it was loaded with fresh, piping hot lobster meat. In fact, I would say the lobster meat itself was among the freshest and best prepared I’ve ever had (I’m looking at you, Abbott’s). It was dazzling.
All killer, no filler.
As you can see, it is just 100 percent lobster meat. And butter. They don’t give you butter on the side, but that’s okay, because they have drenched the roll in it – but not to the point where it is sopping and falling apart. The breadiness of the roll does a nice job of absorbing it, and preserving its toasted crispness where it is not so soaked. I can’t lie, the roll was absolutely delicious.
Sensational. Notice the penetration of butter in the bread.
At a bare minimum, it rivals Abbott’s. However, there are some issues. The same quality that allows the roll to absorb all of that magnificent butter can also be a drawback. The roll is frankly somewhat bready, and where it is not sopped it can be a bit mushy, like bad hero roll bread. It’s not offensive, but it in some ways becomes a force to reckon with. Certainly it is a quantity to be reckoned with. It can be chewy, and as a result it is frankly the weakest link: it evokes bread you’d get at a Subway or something.
The bread... If only it were better.
I hope you understand this is dancing on the head of a pin as far as niggles go. I would gladly return to Lobster Landing upon the instant it was available and (relatively) convenient. It is well worth your trip. I understand on the weekend it gets absolutely packed, which is easy to understand, so their small parking space must fill up and cars line the road for some space heading into it. Keep that in mind should you stop in.
The lobster itself was exceptional. Simple, hot and fresh. Cooked to order. Part of me is concerned that other places which I dearly love simply reheat already cooked lobster meat, which if done properly might work – but can easily fail.
So which is better, Abbott’s or Lobster Landing? My preference is Abbott’s, perhaps for sentimental reasons. It’s got a better venue, that’s for sure. Their sandwich is also sublime – but can be hit and miss. Getting the “luke warm lob” instead of the Hot Lob at Abbott’s can be very irksome. Lobster Landing is beautiful, but there’s just a bit too much bread. The lobster itself is amazing, at least on par. I shall have to return and sample it again.
If only I could get the Lobster Landing lobster meat served Abbott’s-style, on a hamburger bun… .
Lobster Landing
152 Commerce Street Clinton, CT 06413 860.669.2005No website, but check them out on Facebook
Sampling The Go Burger Truck
A short line. Wonder why?
The endless progression of gourmet food trucks continue, and I’m definitely noticing something: as more and more of them come onto the scene, the more it seems like some of the vendors are seizing the novelty of the “food truck moment” and getting away with serving meh food, hoping the hipness of the truck will carry the day. It won’t, it’s always the food that tells.
A recent example of this (for me) was found at the Go Burger Truck, where for $12 I got their cheeseburger ($5 +$1 for cheese) and side of onion rings ($5 + $1 tax overall).
Not exactly the most appetizing looking, right?
Let’s start with the burger, which they tout as consisting of “100% certified Black Angus beef… a combination of sirloin, short rib, chuck and brisket.” Sounds pretty fancy, right? Too bad you can hardly taste it beneath the giant, sweet brioche bun it is served on. I can’t tell you if it’s any good or not simply because I couldn’t taste it underneath all that bread. That’s a pity, because since they go through all that trouble trying to be fancy about their meat, you’d think they’d want to show it off, not bury it.
Nice thick rings
The onion rings, however, were winning. They are not as excellent as those from Lucky’s Famous, but nonetheless, they are the way I like them: wide, cooked up crunchy in batter. I think they could use some bread crumbs to get that crumbly, gnarly aspect I enjoy so much, but nonetheless, they were the clear star of the show. They’d do well for someone with a hangover, I’d imagine.
To quote the commercial: It's a very big bun.
I can’t recommend the burger, because I couldn’t really taste it. The rings were lovely. At $12 for both, I doubt I’ll go back again, unless it’s for just the rings.
Go Burger Truck
Travels around NYC, check their Twitter or website for details.Lady M Cake Boutique Is An Otherworldly Food-esque Experience Unlike Any Other In New York City
Cakes or set decoration?
The other day I paid a visit to a place I’d been meaning to hit for quite some time, the rumored Lady M Cake Boutique. What is so special about it? Quite a lot. Before we get to the food, though, let’s start with the location, decor and clientele.
A narrow, severe, all-white experience.
Lady M Cake Boutique is located on the Upper East Side, a notoriously tony part of town, densely populated with well-heeled folks enjoying their slice of life. And occasionally their slice of cake. The folks who come in to the shop seem to be divided into two main types: doctors and so forth dripping with cash and leggy fashionistas who are indulging in their one caloric bomb a month. Many of the customers were coming in to pick up cakes to go. Some of the cakes look really spectacular, including a green tea number the precise shade of moss. It looked, well, different.
More of the cakes... .
The decor is severe and white. There’s marble on the floors, a few small tables lining the wall, and cakes set out like pieces of art in a gallery. There are a few tables along the wall. They charge an 18 percent gratuity for table service, which may ruffle some feathers, but I guess it helps separate the wheat from the chaff, as far as their clientele goes. French music wafts through the air. The cake counter itself is a long, narrow affair with horizontal, white planks, resting on metal legs.
Speaking of legs, I have to discuss the other thing that sets Lady M apart from other bake shops.
The other reason.
Most bakeries seem to cater to the vast swath of humanity. You’ll see a normal cross-section of folks. At Lady M, it’s a bit different. When the couples come in, he’s 50 and a dentist. She’s not, and is dressed to the nines.
The “Sex & The City” crowd which frequents this place is somewhat baffling because they are all such skinny bolinks. They wear designer sunglasses, sun dresses and fancy shoes. When I was there, the woman those legs belong to (a knockout), came in with a guy who was somewhat pudgy, twice her age (easy), wearing Bermuda shorts, topsiders, ill-fitting baseball cap, and polo shirt featuring chest hair poking out the neck.
What can I say? It was something to see. She was followed in by another of her ilk, and another.
A thing of beauty is a joy forever.
But enough about all that: how’s the food? Above, allow me to introduce you to the sublime specialty of the house, the milles crepes. There are no fewer than 20 layers of crepe involved here, and they seem to rest on layers of cream. As you can see, the top is a creme brulee.
Amazingly creamy and light.
I’m not going to kid you: it is amazing. Incredible. Delicious. There is an unusual combination of characteristics that makes it so special. Each layer of crepe is the width of a sheet of paper. They float on the cream. There’s a tension when attempting to cut through them, enough so that I had to attack with the prongs of the fork as opposed to the side at certain points.
Notice the indent where I attempted to cut... .
The cream is quite cool on the tongue. It is has a rich, full flavor without being too heavy. In fact, the whole thing is lighter than you’d think. It is essentially liquid shlag held together and it is sensational. Easily one of the better desserts I’ve ever had.
The star of this picture is in the small pitcher at the bottom.
The iced cafe was delicious, made particularly special by the small pitcher of simple syrup served to sweeten it.
The bill - service included... .
For about $16, it was well worth it. Granted, that’s not cheap for a slice of cake and a cup of iced coffee. But I think at Lady M you’re paying for more than just the food. You’re paying for the privilege of sitting there – at least that’s how it feels. I count myself lucky for having gotten a table – I understand they get incredibly busy… .
It’s a great place for high-flying baked goods, and watching the high-fliers that eat it.
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